Help Me, Mommy

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One fantasy that never gets old for guys is the mommy catching them masturbating and helping them finish off or it just be the beginning to a whole raunchy sex scene between the two of them. One thing that seems rare from all the callers I talk to is when they were growing up the lack of door locks on their bedroom doors. I guess I was lucky, at least in my home we all had door locks and used them and no one though a thing about it.

That seems to be the exception, not the rule, and most say they had no locks and people were walking in left, right and sideways, and mommy was often one of them that did and things often went off the rails from there on out. Spanking fetishes were born from the punishment that resulted, or in the rare instances where the mom was cool, it might set off fantasies. I can see it would be an awkward thing. I’ve never had a child and never will, so it’s not something I will ever have to be confronted with, but if I was a parent, I think before such a thing ever happened I’d write them a letter rather than an awkward face to face conversation and tell them it was ok, and natural and normal and just lock your door so no one surprises you, no need to say a word otherwise.

So many guys have mommy fantasies, this sort of a getting caught incident often fuels them for later and has them thinking about mommy not only helping, but fucking them, blowing them, etc. That’s not to say all mommy fantasies bloomed from getting caught, they didn’t, but it usually intensifies the situation from what guys have told me over the years.

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Come Sit On Santa’s Lap

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Some might wonder how Christmas can be sexy, after all it’s a religious holiday and Santa is intertwined with children and maybe sex doesn’t belong in that mix. No matter how odd, someone, somewhere is thinking about it. Christmas can be a romantic time, if you can find the time, since for most people December is a very hectic month with people rushing around, entertaining, visiting far flung family members and friends, who has time for sex!?

If you can find the time though, it can be a wonderfully romantic and special time and if you can save some time for yourself if you have no partner, phone sex is just the sort of pick me up you could treat yourself to enhance your masturbation. Some callers that have no partners are extra lonely during the holidays and may want a friendly ear to listen to them and entertain them sexually as well. Many girls are busy during Christmas with their own families, so not as many girls are available, so the ones that are, can often benefit.

Some sexy Christmas lingerie, maybe in dark green or red satin with some white feather trim might be just the ticket to get a rise out of your man’s “candy cane”! The stresses of the holidays are greater than most months, so a break to have an orgasm can be a healthful one that will reduce stress levels and give you that pick me up you need to soldier on with the family activities.

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Small Penis Phone Sex

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Do you have a tiny penis? It’s really more like a clitty, isn’t it? Does it make you feel good to be humiliated about it, even though you can’t change it and get embarrassed because you’re so inadequate? Well you’re in good company, there’s tons of men out there with little dicks that are total duds in the bedroom.

Small penis humiliation is one of the top fetishes around. I’m not quite sure if it’s because guys with smaller than average cocks just can’t get women so therefore they turn to phone sex since it’s the next best thing to real sex, or whether there’s so many men with small dicks in general, it’s just the statistical average calling. I’m thinking it’s more the former. Small penis humiliation is also intertwined with a couple of other fetishes as well, cuckold, since their women usually turn to other guys since they can’t sexually satisfy their women themselves.

While premature ejaculation isn’t a fetish really, many small penis guys are affected with this condition as well, but then lots of men are regardless of size. They are simply too lazy to train themselves out of it. Small penis callers are kind of a pitiful lot, and they like being called that. Some will even email pics prior to calls and have you berate their useless, pathetic appendages and tell them what worms they are, good for nothing but cleaning the cum out of their women’s pussies another man has deposited inside. Small penis phone sex, as close as your nearest phone!

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Bigger, Blacker, Better

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One of my long time clients is very much into BBC, big, black cock. He’s a smaller guy, only around 5’6, and is attracted to huge, hung, black guys over 6’4 and with cocks the size of forearms. He’s actually emailed me pics of some of these guys he’s played with. Some he’s paid, others he has gotten to play with him for free. Some of the dildos he uses are beyond huge and he said one took over four hours to get inside, it was over thirteen inches long.

Their cocks are as big around as a can of pop, not sure how anyone could accommodate such a monster, but some certainly look at it as a challenge to try. The size of some of these cocks is not to be believed, they should be in some freaks of nature website pictorial. He calls and goes on about how badly he wants them to stretch him open, even crying about it, the desire is so great. Sobbing because he doesn’t know if he can in fact take the big, black cock inside, but he will try.

Some men into BBC do not consider themselves gay, many would be classified as bi, since they also on occasion have sex with women, but most of them seem to also have very small penises. BBC porn is their staple, and their own inadequate cocks in comparison is enough to drive them to uncontrolled sobs of anguish. There seems to be a good number of BBC escorts out there to satisfy these men, and no shortage of ads on classifieds sites in the personals sections.

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WAM – Wet & Messy

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When most people say they want to get down and dirty for sexy, they are meaning covered in cum, body juices, dirty that way. When ones into sploshing say it, they are meaning it in an entirely different way. WAM I learned this week, is short for wet and messy. Some guys love to get their gal covered in all sorts of messy foods. Seems simple and innocent enough. Get some pudding and bottles of chocolate syrup and honey and you’re good to go.

Apparently some quicksand fetish guys are also into sploshing, must be the same idea of being covered in goo, all over, messy and sticky and just about as dirty as one could possibly get. I’ve only ever had a couple of sploshing callers, into tossing pies at women, but it is an interesting fetish. Seems a waste of food, but otherwise one of the better fetishes I would not mind participating in. I can even recall as a child wanting a pie tossed in my face like in The Three Stooges! A caller once said he wanted baked beans poured down his pants and I laughed and thought I’d pour them down your pants, right off the stove!

Food is a thing of comfort, and the foods are always messy that are involved in this fetish, ones don’t fantasize about tossing bacon and blueberries at people, it’s custards, pies, puddings, bowls of oatmeal and whipped cream, messy, gooey things. As long as they were prepared to do the cleanup, I’d be happy to have them pour or toss food on me, there’s far worse things ones could be into.

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