Here Comes The Bride?

Now here’s a fantasy (I hope that’s all it is), that I heard tonight. A client said maybe we should be getting married. I’m serious. He even asked my engagement ring finger size if you can believe it. I’m afraid to see what will be at the P.O. Box address next…..Gift cards I welcome, engagement rings? Uh, NOT SO MUCH!

This man is married already, very sweet and generous to me, but to consider ditching his wife for a woman he’s never met face to face, I cannot even contemplate what drives one to such thoughts. Yes, I get that he likes me. I genuinely like him as well, but I’m not even contemplating walking down the aisle with a besotted client. I try and persuade him he’s married already and that I can be his secret phone mistress, that’s got an exciting ring to it, doesn’t it? Well, I guess in his mind it pales to actual marriage to his idealized girl.

Fantasy is one thing, please accept these calls are fantasy, gentlemen. I know most are not even entertaining the thoughts of making their phone girls their brides, but it concerns me fantasy is so real for some. Many have pipedreams of actual meetings, but marriage????? Really??? Oh wow, I can’t even get my mind in that place.

I do not lead anyone on, that would be cruel, but I try and turn things to a more realistic view, I’m here to help you with your fantasies, your masturbating, I’m pleased to be a part of it and help you out and make your day a bit more exciting, but let’s not make more out of it than it is. I appreciate these guys, they are my bread and butter, so I try not to disparage. Obviously if they are so focused on something so unrealistic, they have very enriched fantasy lives.

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One Night Stand

A lot of guys love the fantasy of a one night stand. They love the reality even more. How many times on dating sites do I get messages asking am I interested in NSA, dating site lingo for “No Strings Attached” sex. Uh, no, not into boffing strangers, sorry. But many guys are. Or the “DTF” message. Short for “Down To Fuck”, my such eloquence, Shakespeare would no doubt be proud.

No, I’m not down to fuck, sorry to burst your bubble, boys. The thought of a no commitment, once your done you’re out the door, hit and run sex is what many guys aspire to. I’ve always been of the mindset if it’s good and enjoyable for both people, why would you not want to repeat it? Good things are worth repeating in my books. If it was good, I’d be after them for more, which is of course the opposite of no commitment, some guys want a fuck buddy, a friend with benefits, but many are one and they’re done.

One night stands seemed to become more popular in the 1970’s when clubs and bars grew in popularity and you’d be meeting strangers every time you went to the bar, and maybe you wouldn’t meet them again. For men a one night stand isn’t so much of a danger, but for women, it can be. The novel and movie from the 1970’s, “Looking For Mr. Goodbar” is a scary tale of a woman that had a string of one night stands and got murdered. It’s a scary world out there people.

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A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet…….

 

Who among us hasn’t fantasized about smelling like a flower down under? They call it our flower, we get deflowered, yet sad to say *gulp*, many women’s flowers are no bouquet by any means….If you expect a guy to go downtown shall we say, there’s things that can and should be done for preparation. A shower is a given. I’d also recommend a total shave or waxing if you can stand the pain. But also try and watch your diet for a few days before the big date.

I had heard the old pineapple juice makes you taste sweeter thing, but imagine my surprise when I was looking online for vitamins and noticed something I’d never seen or even knew existed. There was a powder, like a protein powder thing you add a scoop to your daily water or juice. It was in two formulations, one for men and one for women, and it’s sole purpose was to make your secretions taste sweeter for the purpose of oral sex.

Vegetarians are supposed to have the best tasting spunk. And if you’re a drinker or smoker, you may be making your gal gag with a mouthful of your jizz. Granted, I doubt most guys would ever give it a second thought or care in the slightest, they’d be too wrapped up in their own pleasure to care I am betting. But if you want your partner to have the best possible experience, amp up the fruits, cut out the smoke, and get well hydrated.

I have laughed so many times when I see these ads in my spam email to increase your sperm volume with supplements. Do guys really think we want a BIGGER mouthful? Really??? They must see themselves as would be porn stars that it’s a good thing to be able to shoots 12 ropes of cum. Please….

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Cuckold

So many guys have cuckold fantasies. They often have tiny, fairly useless cocks themselves and wish for their women to at least get some pleasure somewhere, but they want to watch as said pleasure takes place.

One called the other night that wanted to watch, but he didn’t want the young man fucking his wife to find out, so he was going to be sitting in the closet and watching through the slats in closet door as his wife was made love to by the much younger, much more well hung young guy.

He watched her get eaten out, suck on the young dick and then get fucked and filled up with load after load of that young cum as he stroked away in the closet watching.

After the young guy was satisfied and left, he crept out of the closet and licked her pussy clean of every drop of the young spunk. He then fucked her silly with his smaller cock, that was then getting slick with the other guys cum that remained deep inside of his wife’s cunt. He loved the slippery feeling of the other guys cum in her pussy coating his own dick.

He then came inside of her and licked out his own cum as well and asked her to describe every feeling she had as the younger guy fucked her, and she whispered in his ear how good it felt to be spread open by his eager, young cock and how hard he pounded her with thrust after thrust inside, knowing hubby was viewing it all from the closet.

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Show And Tell

 

The fantasy of being watched can be quite exciting. I recall a funny line from one of my favorite movies, “Pretty Woman”, Julia Roberts friend on the movie says to an older man and his shocked wife, “$50 bucks grandpa, for $75 the wife can watch.”

I can’t even tell you the number of guys I chat with that are total exibitionists, they think all women want to watch them masturbate on cam. They can’t even conceive of the fact that women, not all women anyway, want or are interested in watching.

I lose out on business since I will not watch guys on cam during business calls, but I don’t want to see it, so I don’t do it.

Guys love to watch girls play with themselves. They get hard very quickly and love to stroke along side of the naughty gals. Some naughty girls have masturbated on balconies or in cars in full view of others, since they are hoping ones will see what’s going on.

One guy I used to talk to would masturbate in his chair in front of the open window, which was right on the sidewalk almost, he was always hoping some lady would pass on by during an after dinner walk and cast her eyes his way and see what was going on.

Another man tells me about the neighbor across from his house where their bedroom windows look over at each others, and how she gets out of the shower and knows he’s watching her get dressed and masturbating on her bed. He said she even does little dances for him. Naughty exhibitionists and voyeurs.

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